The Liberian Billboard Sex and Dating Desk- Every relationship is going to hit some bumps. If you give up and break up every time a challenge arises, then you’re never going to sustain a long-term relationship. What you need are problem solving strategies that allow you and your partner to make it over those bumps and deal with issues with respect for each other. Here are some of the top tips suggested by experts for avoiding a breakup.
Sure, breaking up with your partner can be the easy way out, but it’s often not as fulfilling as working things out. Before you give up on your relationship, try these suggestions:
Have A Conversation Somewhere comfortable
You may not think of it as a priority, but physical or mental discomfort makes you grumpier and less able to cooperate with your partner. Try to choose a place where each of you can sit down and feel as relaxed as possible, given the disagreement.
Hold Your Partner’s Hand
As long as the issue isn’t a major mistake made by one of you, try holding your partner’s hand when you start an important discussion. Holding hands, and touch in general, releases hormones that help you feel calmer and more affectionate to your partner. If a big mistake was made, then the hurt partner may not be receptive to being touched, and that should be respected.
Talk About Yourself
When things are going well, it’s usually suggested that you focus on your partner and ask them about themselves. But when you’re having an argument, it’s better to make “I” statements about how you are feeling and what you need, rather than “you” statements about what you perceive they are doing wrong. Simply put, don’t start off with an accusation.
Walk Out In The Right Way
It’s okay to say you need to take a break from a tense conversation, especially if things are getting too heated. But leaving your partner wondering when or if you will return to the conversation may make them feel more confrontational. Instead, let them know that you need to take 5 minutes (or whatever amount you decide) to calm down on your own. Let them know where you are going and when you will return to finish talking.
Make A Request Rather Than An Accusation
Criticizing your partner is never a good strategy for keeping your relationship happy and healthy. If your partner’s habit is bothering you or you feel ignored by them, try suggesting an activity that would make both of you happy. For instance, if your partner stays up late working or playing around on the internet, ask if they would like to schedule a couple nights a week to watch a movie or play a game with you, or to go to bed early with you one night.
A healthy relationship is about respecting each other. If you’re having trouble learning to use these strategies, a relationship counselor can provide you and your partner with additional guidance.